Monday, 10 October 2011

I cracked.

So I’ve finally cracked. I’m homesick.
If you’ve read my previous blog post, then you’ll know that my weekend didn’t start out great, and I went home early on a night out because I didn’t feel part of it. But I think that was all just leading up to a few tough days of homesickness.  I knew I missed home, my family, friends and bed. But I guess I didn’t really realise how much until now.
My ‘cracking’ came this afternoon. I needed to talk to someone and fast.
I spoke to my best friend first and that was so good, I spoke to her honestly about a couple of private things and a few things I’ve been worried about and the things that’s been worrying her, so it was really healthy and I did feel better about it, we even worked out how long it was until I could see her. (A month minus 5 days!)  It was genuinely a really good chat, and although it made me miss her more, her coming to visit me soon is impossible because she has her BMAT and A Levels to work on!
Next came my family, I skype my family at least 3 times a week, and usually its really lovely to see them, remind them that I’m still alive, and that I’m managing living without them! And it was today, until my mum informed me that since she almost chopped her finger off at work (A&E all day, steri strips and lots of bandages), they’re making her have the week off as it happened on their property. That’s amazing for her, because since she’s gotten this job, she hasn’t had a sick day off in 8 years and it’s paid! So I asked whether she could come and visit me, because I missed her. She told me she couldn’t…. I’m sure she has a million things to do, and obvious responsibilities at home, but it still was really upsetting.
And I cracked.
I cried, and cried and cried. Now I don’t know whether you’ve done it, but crying whilst on skype can be veeeery awkward, because the people you’re talking to can only watch (and in my mums case, cry too) and not do anything.  

I wrote that last night planning on uploading it then too but the only place I have internet is in my room, and I was spending time with my flatmates last night.
I feel a lot better, but I think crying it out helped, I spent a long time crying yesterday. 
But today got better, in fact last night did. I had a really long chat with one of my flatmates and sorted out a few things, and that was good. But today I've busied myself with notes and assigments and it's helped. 
I'm going out tonight to a church social, so that'll be helpful :) 

Hope everyone else is cheerful :) xxx

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